After math..

So yesterday was the support group meeting. I went in with anxious hopes and came out even more sad. I realized it is going to be a lot longer getting better and more struggles than I anticipated. Don't get me wrong, everyone there gave me some type of hope and inspiration, but knowing it will take years to get this under control had put me into a deeper somber. I didn't sleep at all last night and woke up at 4 am. My mind is going crazy and my thoughts are out of control. I have come to realize that I haven't accepted this yet and I am still in a sense of denial. I don't know when I will be okay with this and please be patient. This all happened so fast that I think I need time to really digest it. Yesterday opened my eyes that things could be a lot worse, but for me this is my worst.