Realizing my surroundings...

Yes my family has been here physically for me since last October and I am so grateful for that. But I'm different from them and always will be. I can't just move on, this will be a process for me and it may take years or months or weeks, either way they don't understand why. It shouldn't be an understanding of me, but just emotionally be there. And when I cry just let, don't tell me to get over it or it's time to move on. I just want you to be there while I figure this out my way. Because in the end that will be the only thing keeping me alive..I'm just trying to figure this out, I'm not in denial anymore, but I'm working this out like a puzzle and only I can solve it. I can't think too much about it because then I'll get myself twisted up and backwards. Please just let me solve this mystery my way. 

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Your body is supposed to protect you from virus's and harmful bacteria, not make you weak. Not make you so tired that if you wanted to get up it would be a chore, and then you can't accomplish what you wanted to. So you're back in bed and you have a system and this is interrupting it. I hate crying, it's such a waste of time and accomplishes nothing, but makes you look weak. Good Night Universe..