Different Outlooks..

Last night was my nephew's chorus Christmas Concert. Since the IVIG Treatment wiped me out this past week I was still hurting yesterday. It was still hard for me to walk yesterday so I showed up in my wheelchair. After the performance my niece asked if I was going to have this "cold" forever and when I told her yes she made a really sad face. It broke my heart. The rest of the night I couldn't help but think "what is going through her head?". I'm living through it so my perspective is completely different and I feel selfish because I haven't considered anyone else's. She is six years old. I lived with my sister for a year and she was used to me being normal and now I am too fragile for her to even touch my arm or leg.

When I was in the hospital they had my IV through my jugular. When they gave me morphine I would tell everyone I was a superhero in training. And maybe in a sense I was. They were giving me medicine to make me better. I haven't seen the beautiful or kindness in anything for a while. I was so drained and negative on everything because I was always hurting and tired. Maybe now I will be able to see the beautiful and kindness in everything. Maybe that is God's purpose of putting me through this pain. Maybe I am chosen for this task. But it wouldn't be a task once I fully understand life. There is a reason why I am going through this. I can't change the world, but maybe I can help change or guide the people around me to see the beauty in everything that life and this world has to offer.