Today is not a good day. I woke up at 4am and didn't get up til 8am. My pain level has increased to almost unbearable. My whole body is weak and won't stop shaking. I'm trying to get some rest, but my mind is going and won't stop. My home nurse made an appointment for me today with my rheumatologist. I'm hoping she has me start my treatment sooner than we planned for.

I hate feeling like this. I'm in a vulnerable state right now and there are no shields to protect me. I have to run errands before the doctors that I was looking forward to doing, but now it's kinda scary. If I put any type of pressure on my body it hurts, even crossing my legs.

My cousin and his wife bought me a stuffed monkey when I was in the hospital that I slept with, and so today he is keeping me company. All of the nurses knew I cuddled with him, and when they made my bed and tucked me in they always had him close to me. I guess it's some sort of comfort and the feeling of not being alone. His name is Cheeky Charlie. I really hope tomorrow is better day..