I cannot believe it is already Thanksgiving week! I am so happy I am home and not in a hospital. Though, I do wish I felt better. The treatment they did in the hospital is wearing off and the pain is coming back at full force. My dizzy spells are getting worse as well. I don't start treatment for another two weeks and so I am really hoping it doesn't get to the point where I can't function again. My family are great supporters and understand that I need to rest even if I act like I don't.

During the holidays, I would always end up falling asleep and my family thought I was "lazy" or didn't want to help. My body was always just really tired! Doing the littlest things would take so much energy for me. Now everyone knows why and they felt bad for always complaining that I was being "lazy". They shouldn't feel bad though. Nobody knew what was really going on with my body and could have guessed this. Knowing now, does answer some questions of why I was tired so easily or why I was in a  funk. I would be in a bad mood for no reason and I couldn't control it. And now I feel like I'm taking crazy pills! My body has been through so much since October 15.

I mean it does make sense all the up and down emotions I have, but geeze I just want to feel normal again! I take one type of medicine to help suppress my symptoms and then I take three different types of medicine to counteract the side effects; so much medicine. Before I wouldn't even take anything for a headache! I feel like I'm a pharmacy at times. My pain medicine only helps manage the pain and never takes it away. They can't give me a higher dose because my liver was effected so bad from the breakdown of my muscles. I just want to feel better and live a life with no pain. I feel like it's always something now and it's never actually a great day.. I'm trying to stay positive and be thankful that I am here and that I have a wonderful family. Those are the faces and smiles that help me get through the day.