Hanging in there..

So things are getting a little better. I've learned that I can't concentrate or think what my life has come to. If I do, I get really sad. I have to move forward. It's really hard, but I need to. I went to the Support Group again on Saturday. I had the worst anxiety on my way there. I was shaking and crying. But once I got there my nerves started calming down. I was able to relax once I realized all the attention won't be on me since they know me now. It went really well and I look forward to the next meeting. However, I am glad it is only a couple of months because I don't think I can do every month. Though Richard, who was in charge, passed away the beginning of March. It was my first experience of death with this disease. He did have other issues and age was a take in it as well. It still breaks my heart. I am still a sad person, but I hide it very well. I have wonderful friends and family that do everything to keep me afloat and my spirits high.

I started a gofundme account to start paying my medical bills. My disability runs out next month. I applied for permanent disability, but I heard it is very hard to get and you usually get denied the first time. Which is really scary. Please check out my link and help share me story!!

                                     gofundme.com/2ei8hs

Any support is not too small!! I hope everyone has a great week/weekend! I have my IVIG treatment tomorrow and Friday. Ugh! I hate getting it done because it wears me out! I will hopefully have good news about getting Rituxin soon. Which is the other treatment that isn't FDA Approved. I am supposed to have one more IVIG after this week, but I'm really hoping I don't.

My mom is having a conference call today with a nutritionist who works with people who have autoimmune diseases. I started the green smoothies and juicing about 3 weeks ago, but I still love my sugar and ice cream! And they are the worst for me!! So I hope she has some great alternatives or some exciting new ways to eat. I have no choice to change so I need to start looking at it with a positive attitude. I did read that frozen bananas through a food processor taste like soft serve ice cream so I need to try that! Too much banana makes me gag though! So I need to be careful with that. My mom is eating with me so it makes it easier and she keeps up on me which I need to. I wanted to move out at the the end of summer, but there is NO way that is going to happen. It sucks. And it won't be for a long while..

I will keep you posted on my treatments and what the next plans are.