Chemical Imbalance..

That's what they tell you when you're depressed and your body hurts. Antidepressants will help me and my body doesn't really hurt, it's all mind over matter. And anxiety doesn't really exist either. Everything is all in my head. But I somehow need to be on antidepressants and I just feel that's me being weak. Like I'm not strong enough to get better on my own. Like these tears don't mean anything and I can't handle this. I'm not weak and I've always been able to figure it out so no I don't want to be on antidepressants. I wish I can be normal and have my own place and take walks. Good news is I got this young, that's what I always hear. Doesn't make it any better. And so ya I may be in denial still and very angry, but the only reason I would get on antidepressants is to make everyone else around me happy. Because I'm not weak and being on antidepressants will make me weak. Maybe that's a plus so my outgoing mouth could be numbed. I'll be perfect and go along and my pain will be gone because since the two are connected and all. Man, I can't wait! 

I apologize to the ones I've hurt, my blog has never been that intention. I don't have any other way to get it out and I sometimes seem to cross the line. So again, I apologize to anyone I've hurt and I thank you for following my blog.